Too Secure in Your Couple? – How Dopamine and Anxiety Affect Relationships
Ok, this is a big topic. Ever wonder why it is, that you could be feeling so loved and adored by your partner and then when you commit to the relationship, all the sparks fall away? Then you wonder, “did I do something wrong”? Many people have heard the term, “the thrill of the chase”, but what is really happening.
In relationships, like in any other situation where you have to work really hard to accomplish something, dopamine and anxiety are working on how that situation is being experienced and how much priority it is being given. The more valuable and less certain it looks, the more attention and effort will go into achieving it. But, less valuable or no effort means less attention is given to it. And dopamine and anxiety are two of the “switches” that contribute to how that process is happening.
Relationships are complicated. The feeling that we want more in life pushes us to find a mate and engage in couple and family activities. But then, often, that relationship that we thought we wanted, begins to look less desireable. What causes us to feel disconnected and unhappy in a stable relationship? Believe it or not, uncertainty helps maintain a relationship. Let me explain…
Posted by Violet Reveira, Psychologist on Sunday, December 17, 2017