Perfectionism and Relationships – Happy Wife, Happy Life, Right?
Is is so hard to explain the perils of putting someone else’s happiness before your own. There is so much that goes into making sure someone else is happy. The time, effort, and actions you will take to ensure that the other person is happy is usually excessive, exhausting, and unfortunately, wasted. Wasted because inevitably the person does show signs of being unhappy!
Simply put, it is not possible for someone to be happy all the time. So the first flaw is that you are trying to accomplish something that cannot be accomplished. But, the other, much more important issues is that you are focusing on this other person and trying to make them happy, in order for you to be happy and satisfied with life. And if you do that with this person, you are likely doing it with others. That is an issue because someone else’s happiness does not guarantee yours.
In order to be happy, you need to focus on what makes your life feel good, not external validation from others. Understanding your personality, interests, strengths, weaknesses, sense of humour, etc. Generally being self aware and accepting yourself for who your are is the first step to being happy in relationships. Because when I accept myself the way that I am, I present myself accurately, and this inevitably leads me to interact with more people who are interested in the real me. Those people will enjoy my company and I will enjoy theirs. That is the first step towards my happy life.
How does perfectionism affect your romantic, work, and family relationships? The way we make decisions affects the way we treat people, the way people respond to us, and the things we decide to prioritize. Perfectionism is an unrealistic goal that causes people to focus on inappropriate aspects of interactions and is often used to distract the perfectionist from problems in their lives.Here is a book about coping with perfectionism:Canada: http://amzn.to/2wSjzndUnited Kingdom: http://amzn.to/2k0XdtHYou can find Violet here: www.violetreveira.comAll product links are amazon affiliate links. Thanks for watching Violet's Practical Help.
Posted by Violet Reveira, Psychologist on Tuesday, December 5, 2017